It's been a while...

...both since I last updated this little blog thing I have going on here, and since I've felt content, I guess. 

I'd catch you up to speed from where I left off but I do such a terrible job at updating this thing that I might as well hit the major points of the past six months on the head with bullets:

  • started managing a band (rip tab)
  • fell out of love with music photography
  • started an internship with a super cool music management company that I'm stoked to still be a part of
  • went on tour three times: northeast/midwest, northeast/southeast, full US
  • started working at the House of Blues
  • took 18 credits and enrolled in summer classes
  • went to SXSW
  • started developing a clothing company (shhhhhh)
  • dyed my hair purple
  • landed on the Dean's List even after pushing my finals back a week and completing and submitting projects in the van in the middle of nowhere on tour
  • had ten thousand panic attacks over graduating in less than a year

And here we are. All caught up, probably. Not really; that's just the major stuff, but that's all you really need to know. We'll go back to a couple of those points now.

Lets start with the whole graduation thing, because it's always on my mind. I did a thing that I don't know if I should have done and decided I would graduate college a year early. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Still seems like an okay idea except I am absolutely shaken with anxiety and fear over what the heck I'm going to do next. But thankfully I am not nearly as much of a control freak as I used to be, and thus I'm getting better at letting what is meant to happen, happen. I, however, suggest that everyone stay the heck away from me at the beginning of 2017 while I spend probably every waking moment obsessively searching job boards because I want the security of having a job right out of graduation. Nothing else sounds appealing about jobs, trying to find a job, etc. Don't think that I'm saying I'm lazy and don't want to work because that is the opposite of what I'm saying. I just would love to do more freelance style projects and avoid the whole 9-5 life, but I'll take whatever music job I can get if I'm being honest.

This takes me to my next point. This week, I've sort of blown off most of my responsibilities (because I'm not yet graduated and can still sort of do that for another month I suppose so YOLO while I can amiright?) and traveled this whole week. I got my shifts covered, packed a bag & planned on never returning. Just kidding, I'm returning on Monday. It all started at Pittsburgh Warped last Friday. I photographed that date, had so much fun and was so content with my pictures that I found the balls to try to get another pass, which I did for Indianapolis. I had to work on Saturday but Sunday I went to a friend's grad party, had a little too much fun, then woke up on Monday to go to the APMAs. There's something about the APMAs that makes me simultaneously cringe and beam from ear to ear. The APMAs are always a bit of a mess: the collaborations are weird, the awards are usually given to the "wrong" people, the arena is never full, etc., but the environment of the show is really, really cool. The Warped scene is overlooked for major awards so to have "our" own award show is really cool, and you usually end up being super close to some of the bands you've been listening to for half of your life and that's always surreal. I still think about watching Brendon Urie intensively watching Weezer play while standing two feet away from me. It's all so casual and really cool. And this year they had Babymetal which won me over. I'll probably go every year since at this point I've already been all three years.  

Anyway, after the APMAs in Columbus, we left to go to Indianapolis Warped Tour. I drove on like, three hours of sleep and then walked around like a zombie the entire time but I got to shoot more bands that day and naturally it reaffirmed my passion for music photography is finally coming back. Thank you based god!!! But also darn you, because now my wallet might suffer since my camera is old as all heck and hardly works anymore!!! Double-edged sword, for sure. But regardless, I'm glad that I'm finding that passion again and I'm glad I shot Indianapolis Warped because Good Charlotte posted my photo on their Instagram and I was like "heck yes maybe I can do this whole photo thing again idk."  All was well until I had to drive to Cleveland after Indy Warped. A five hour drive while on very little sleep is not the most fun thing in the world but Brooke Ball & Chelsea Steez kept me awake with endless references to Jack Barakat, Alex Gaskarth's beard, and Ben Barlow's "giant head."

Cleveland Warped was a good time. I wasn't shooting so that was kind of lame but it was fun nonetheless. 

I'm not fully certainly what the point I wanted to get at when I began this post was but now I've realized exactly where this SHOULD go:

it's okay to take some time away to do things for yourself (especially if you're about to enter your senior year of college aka soon you'll graduate and be in the jail that is probably the real, working world until you're old)

 I've spent the majority of my summer after returning from tour absolutely miserable. I felt like I was drowning in responsibility (and I probably still am but I'm in hiding this week, shh) so I just said screw it and went away for a little bit. I know not everybody has this luxury but I'm very glad that I realized that I have my entire life to work, and that I should enjoy the time that I have now before the real world truly slaps me in the face. So while I sacrificed making a few extra bucks this week at my job and instead I'm dropping more than a couple bucks on gas, I'm finally feeling like I'm living again and not some stupid zombie teenager who wants to be an adult way too early in life. I'm twenty years old and will be when I graduate college. I'll have a bachelors degree before I carry a horizontal license. I've worked hard to get to say that, but I wish I valued my teenage years way more than I did. Thankfully, I've got three more days ahead of me of this little spontaneous trip: Detroit Warped, Chicago Warped & Mopop festival, plus a trip to Los Angeles in a few weeks to keep my spirits high for the rest of the summer. Then it's back to school and time to buckle down and maybe I'll start pretending to have my life together once again. Or maybe this time I'll admit that I don't really have a plan, because what college student entering their senior year actually has a post grad plan? All I know is that I'll probably still be here, rambling away on this blog about a whole bunch of nonsense, thinking I'm making good points until I read them back later. In the meantime, I'm going to go catch some zzz's so I can drive to Detroit in the morning for Warped Tour #4.